summer brain, winter brain

my summer brain is slumbering.
i cannot picture warm suns and hot days.
only the swift pitching of the choppy waters and
too quick progression linger with me.

my autumn brain is boring.
i only watch the leaves pitching differently
down and dwindling, instead,
the motivated craze of ocean.

winter brain beckons.
sweaters to snuggle into and i cannot
picture anything unpleasant.
only the warmth of tea and fog-breath.

looking back, i'll foolishly cry
-i wished for winter.
when all i ever ask is summer.

sky is crying
damp traces of today
streaks clouding my vision.
my own heat fogs the
lenses as i
peel them back
to reveal a blurred
clarity all my own.

sky is clearing
but my vision still blurred.
i promise, knowing i won't,
and that doctor will never hold me
down in that chair, vinyl cutting harsh
into my back.

sky cleared, vision cleared, finger tarnished
and the blur is retreated to the fringes.
my phone rings - purr in the too-tight
back pocket -
the polish needed
and received.
and answered call chases all my qualms.